In our social media, digital-driven world, we can become absorbed in virtual communication to the point that the joy of real connection is obscured. So sending a simple thank-you for a present or special occasion can be forgotten at a time when it is more important than ever. In today’s world, a simple thank-you can make you stand out as that person who cared. Computers can’t do that yet.

Many years ago when visiting in-laws in Jupiter, Florida, I went to lunch with my mother-in-law at her club and overheard a conversation between two ladies at the next table. One was commiserating about her son’s divorce just five years into a marriage. Bereaved and possibly seeking closure, she finally blurted out about her former daughter-in-law, “Well, I guess good riddance. That woman never sent me a thank-you note in her life.”

Shocked at her dismissive remark, I thought, “Geez! I knew they were important, but that important to secretly hold a grudge and now use the feeling as the epitaph on a relationship?” Instantly, I pledged that I would always write prompt thank-you notes – especially to my mother-in-law.

But there are tricky levels to thank-you notes. A thank-you note dashed off as an obligation betrays itself as such. For example, a thank-you note saying, “Thank you for the great party. We had a wonderful time” is dull and impersonal. New brides also should beware of the simple “Thank you for the lovely gift.” With just one more line of generic mumbo-jumbo and a signature, it’s done, but ick! What a missed opportunity for you, the writer, to really show your appreciation and care.

No matter what method you choose, never underestimate the value of a handwritten note sent by snail mail. Personally, when I walk to the mailbox and see anything handwritten on an envelope in a sea of bills and fliers, it gets opened first. The anticipation is high, until the opening – and seeing just two sentences the person could have written to anyone.

So think about your thank-you notes this holiday season. Write at least three to five sentences that employ visual examples, details and positive feelings for the gift and the person. Parties are not just “great,” and gifts are not just “lovely.” Tell us why, so we know you mean it. Being heartfelt is memorable, and always counts.

Hang in there, high school seniors – the college application process is almost over. November and December are tough months for those applying to college. Those who applied “early decision” faced a November deadline, and the wait for a mid-December reply can be agonizing.

If you aren’t accepted to your first choice, the application process repeats itself, but to multiple colleges. For those applying to “stretch,” “right on” and “safety” schools – as many as six to 10 – some are just running out of gas. They put their heart and soul into that 650-word common application essay and now are hitting the supplements. The most competitive colleges demand extra essays, as many as three or four, with word counts ranging from 100 to 500 words. This surprises some students. They’ve possibly been juggling courses, sports and social commitments, all while trying to enjoy senior year with all this added obligation of college applications since September. In fact, many of my clients started last June and are glad they did now. Still, there is an urge to write off the supplements quickly just to get them done. Sorry, but this is a mistake.

College admission committees look at the supplements carefully, especially the ubiquitous one that always asks, “Why us?” Colleges want to know what you have learned from your research about them and why you might be a good fit. So you can’t just write one answer and submit it to all the colleges on your list, simply changing the college name. Why? Because just writing one forces you to stay general. “I like the campus,” “The teacher-to-student ratio is small,” “You have a good ranking in magazines,” “I like your climate,” etc. Dig deeper.

If you want to study engineering at Duke, you need to say at the Pratt School of Engineering, or for business at University of Michigan, it’s the Ross School. One client this week applying to the University of Chicago wants to study radiology, and we found two professors with their own labs researching DNA degradation and microsecond X-rays for minimal exposure. He named these professors and explained why he would hope to work on their teams as an undergraduate. It was honest and convincing, which works.

So hang in there, and keep writing. You are almost done!

In an increased effort to select students who fit well, college admissions essays lately have gained significance. Admissions counselors want to see and feel the challenges you have faced, as your learning experiences give them a glimpse of your potential. So whatever your plans are this summer, take a notebook, because taking note of your summer experiences can prove priceless when writing those all-important essays.

Last summer, one of my clients spent eight weeks as a camp counselor for young girls with autism. As a recent neurology graduate of Duke University, she was applying to medical schools. During a Skype session, the client shared concerns about one of her six campers. The camper was unpredictable at meals and often required two hours of individual, calming care at bedtime. My client persisted, and I found the story of her breakthrough to gain the child’s trust riveting, which made for a remarkable admissions essay.

An equally compelling essay developed from the notes of a high school lifeguard who recounted his thoughts during endless hours of counting heads in a lake, making sure none disappeared. None ever did, but his chair musings on math, sunbathers’ behavior and bravery “at the ready” were hilariously creative, revealing powerful observation and wit.

Both clients took summer notes.

Institutions of higher learning want to know who you are. They crave visual examples with positive points that are clear, and details are never clearer than the day something happens. So if you swim across a lake for the first time, drop a tub of dishes as a busboy or even suffer a boring bus ride from Lansing to Leelanau County, Michigan, take a few moments to write down what you were thinking and feeling. The thrill, the pain, the embarrassment and the doubts – everything counts!

Record a couple of notes per night – or just tell your mom on the phone, and get her to write down the details. She’ll love doing so.

You did it! You earned that high school diploma or college degree you worked so hard for! Take a couple of weeks off to enjoy yourself, and then begin preparing that all-important résumé.

The two most important things I have learned by working with clients are as follows. No. 1, each is unique. No. 2, résumés confuse, challenge and even scare people. This juxtaposition with new graduates often results in procrastination because No. 1 and No. 2 don’t naturally jibe well. How do I show my uniqueness in a rigid, one-page list? Remember it should only be one page if you’re in your 20s – unless you’re already composing music while playing Carnegie Hall or being recruited by Major League Baseball (both of which I have encountered with clients, who required different strategies).

Let me set forth effective starter guidelines for new graduates. Let’s start with structure:

• Present your name in a large font on the top of the page. Limit necessary contact information to one line below.
• Leave 1-inch margins on each side of your résumé for potential employer/human resources notes.
• Proceed with categories like education, experience, employment, information-technology proficiencies and community/interests. Please note that experience is different from employment. The former may include unpaid internships, while the latter involves only paid work. If you don’t have much of either, present education first and include any academic awards or experiences studying abroad, possibly preceded by a two-line objective sentence that expresses your interests and motivation.

Now, how do you grab the attention of an employer and keep it? A few tips on that subject follow:

• Use active verbs, as opposed to titles, in bullet points that describe what you have and can do.
• Don’t exaggerate. The potential employer will see through exaggeration.
• Never lose a whole line of your résumé by leaving one word dangling alone. It shows wastefulness with potentially the prospective employer’s resources.

Finally, realize not one résumé fits all potential situations, and standard formats from college career centers are boring. Law firms like old fonts, sports-management firms don’t, and we haven’t even addressed the topic of italics and boldface yet. Onward and upward. Congrats!

In response to this most-feared and inevitable question in any interview, the truly freaked-out may answer, “Well, I don’t think I have any.” This – professing the absence of any weaknesses whatsoever – happens thankfully rarely. (Essentially comparing yourself to a deity? Never wise.)

The common answer among stunned interviewees usually consists of a personal characteristic that’s not too bad – “I’m too much of a perfectionist,” say, or, “I’m too organized.” Surprisingly popular nonanswers like these, which I hear all the time, in all age groups, simply reveal avoidance.

To effectively answer this pivotal question, you first must recognize that interviewers regularly conduct hundreds of interviews and know these conventional answers like their favorite restaurant menu. Such answers immediately categorize you as “one of those” – interviewees who are afraid and hiding something.

Instead, realize the question will be asked in some form, and plan your answer in advance. A weakness is, in reality, a challenge. You don’t have to use the word “weakness” just because the interviewer does.

At its essence, the “biggest weakness” question reveals that the interviewer knows you’re going to hit bumps and obstacles. Everybody does. What the interviewer really wants to know is how you’re going to act when you do. Will you freeze or whine, blame somebody else or try to hide a mistake that could cost the company millions? Or will you show integrity, own up and soldier through? Do you know yourself well enough to recognize what you could improve and address your shortfalls? That’s valuable!

Transform a negative to a positive. Take the opportunity to reveal more about yourself and what you can offer. When you think about it this way, the “biggest weakness” question becomes a great way to show your grit and coping skills you’ve learned to apply to every new challenge, making yourself stronger and more capable than before.

Failures and struggles help you grow. Answer the negative honestly and briefly, then explain your steps toward growth with provable, positive points. Through this, weakness morphs into quantifiable strength.