What’s Your Biggest Weakness?    . . . . . .  Geez!

by Janis Murray

It’s the most feared and inevitable question in any interview.  What’s your biggest weakness?  The truly freaked out may answer, “Well, I don’t think I have any.” So bad, this is thankfully rare.  Essentially comparing oneself to a deity is never wise in any situation.  The more likely answer among the stunned usually chooses a personal characteristic that’s “not too bad”  like, “I’m too much of a perfectionist,” or, “I’m too organized.”  Oh come on, really?  A non-answer like this simply reveals avoidance incarnate. No joke, these are surprisingly popular. I hear them all the time in all age groups!

To effectively answer this pivotal question, one must first realize the people who conduct employment, internship and merit scholarship interviews do hundreds!  They know these pat answers like a Chinese food menu, “Ho hum, he’s Column A,” or “She’s Column B.”  You’re instantly “one of those” afraid and hiding.

Instead, realize the question will be asked in some form and plan your answer in advance during your interview prep.  Think in depth about challenges you have faced, how you dealt with them and what you learned.  Be exact, using a real example you faced.  A weakness is, in reality, a challenge, and you don’t have to use the word “weakness” just because they do.  At its essence, the biggest weakness question reveals that they know you are going to hit bumps and obstacles.  Everybody does.  What they really want to know is how are you going to act when you do?  Are you going to freeze or whine,  blame somebody else, or try to hide a mistake that could cost the company millions?  Or are you going to show integrity, own up and soldier through?  How?  Do you know yourself well enough to have recognized so far what you could be better at and address it?  That’s valuable!

So, flip the creepy blip to the positive.  Realize it’s an opportunity to reveal more about yourself and what you have to offer.  When you think about it this way, the biggest weakness question is actually a great opportunity to show your grit and the coping skills you’ve learned to apply to every new challenge, stronger and more capable than before.  Failures and  struggles help one grow.  Answer the negative honestly and briefly, then explain your steps of growth with provable, positive points.  Through this, weakness morphs, rightly so, into quantifiable strength.

Copyright 2016 by Janis Murray
All rights reserved.

The Raw Materials of Summer . . . . PRICELESS !

 

Heading out to summer vacations, jobs, and camps?  Take a notebook! I’m directing this to anyone applying to college or graduate schools this fall.  Why? Because the raw materials of summer are priceless when you sit down to write those all-important essays for admission applications.  In colleges’ increasing effort to select students who are “a good fit”, essays have become more important than ever.  Admissions readers want to see, feel, and taste the tension, joy, or challenges you have faced. What you have learned gives them a glimpse of your potential. What you have to work with is the description, the rhythm, the emotion of words to achieve this.

Last summer, a client spent 8 weeks as a counselor for autistic girls at a sleepaway camp in Vermont.  As a new neurology graduate of Duke, she was applying to medical schools. During a Skype session, she was clearly concerned as she told me how one of her six campers was unpredictable at meals and often required two hours of individual, calming care at bedtime.  But she persisted, and the ultimate story of her breakthrough to gain the child’s trust was riveting showing remarkable tenacity, empathy and quick thinking during crises.

An equally compelling essay developed from the notes of a high school lifeguard who recounted his thoughts during endless hours counting heads in a lake, making sure none disappeared.  None ever did, but his chair musings on math, bathers’ behavior and bravery      “at the ready” were hilariously creative revealing powerful observation and wit.

Both clients had taken summer notes.

Colleges want to know who you are uniquely as a person.  They crave visual examples with  positive points that are clear, and the details are never clearer than the day they happen!

So if you swim across a lake for the first time, drop a tray of dishes as a busboy, or even suffer a boring bus ride from Lansing to Leelanau, take a few moments to write down what you were thinking.  The thrill, the pain, the embarrassment, the doubts . . . all count!

Record just a couple notes per night, no more, or the task will become too much and you’ll quit. Or just tell mom on the phone, and get her to write it down.  She’ll love it. Post It notes on the frig? Still primo!  You’ll be thankful you did.  Have fun guys!

 

Copyright 2016 by Janis Murray
All rights reserved.

College Competition Season Starts Now! The Parents’ role . . .

                                                                                                                        by Janis Murray

 

Many parents’ hopes and dreams are on the line when their firstborn applies to college.  Some may see it as a grade on their parenting as in, “If my child doesn’t get into an Ivy or my own Alma Mater, I’ve failed.“ By today’s standards, some of us even doubt WE could get into our own Alma Mater again!  Possibly true, but irrelevant. Some counselors may soothe you saying, the process is the sole responsibility of the student. But after spending 18 years of your life doing everything you can for your kid, butting out now is counterintuitive and impossible.  No, you cannot write their essays for them. That’s unethical and stifles the unique student voice the college wants to hear.  But there is PLENTY else you can do:

1) Discuss the entire process with your student. Ask questions, then listen, listen, listen. Become a TEAM!

2) Learn the CommonApplication.org web site and its “Dashboard”. Parents can fill out the  “name, rank & serial number” sections and even help with the activities lists. Facilitating this, eases the student’s workload so they can concentrate on the more important essays. But, never go into a student’s Common Application and change anything online without their knowledge. This will violate trust you may not get back.  It’s THEIR domain.

3) Keep track of deadlines and plan college visits.

4) Write a letter to your child’s college counselor describing his or her strengths, personality, family experiences and potential in positive ways in cogent sentences offering a glimpse of who that student might be in college.  Spend several hours on this because it’s very important. That counselor is going to write your student’s recommendation to the colleges and you will never see it.  So put your important “two cents” in early, like NOW. That counselor, with many students to write about, will certainly welcome your thoughts.  Just don’t go over the top about how perfect your child is.  That will minimize the “copy and paste” potential you want, and nobody will believe it anyway.

5)  Outsource for help from a professional when needed. This is an especially useful option for dual career couples with multiple children.  A trusted, experienced facilitator can offer that third objective eye, and nurture motivation that creates results. Ask friends for referrals. A quality professional should welcome all your questions, and should never guarantee acceptance to any college.

Stay calm. Be cool. Go!

Copyright 2016 by Janis Murray
All rights reserved.